I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
