Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
