I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
