i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
