she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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