You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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