Your mouth is God's brothel.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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