How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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