Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
