The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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