we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
