woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
