Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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