Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
