If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize