I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
