is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i barfeds in our rink
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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