it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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