A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
