Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
