when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
