hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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