put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
