You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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