I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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