There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
