I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
