census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Boobs are out for the taking
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
