A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
