I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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