I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
