are you still at the devil's house?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
