but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
