I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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