Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
