I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
