i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
