I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
