So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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