I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
