ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
