home. puking in laundry basket.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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