I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
