Need sex. Gaining weight.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
