Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
