someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
