She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
