I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
