We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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