It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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