fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
