I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
